Always the Passenger

Always the Passenger

I’m a passenger on this planet. As far as I know it won’t change. I drive my car, I drive my life but all the time I’m riding shotgun on a rocket ball through space. It doesn’t stop, it doesn’t break, it hurls at 60,000 miles an hour going no place, but the same place, like a race you can trace. No one has stopped it, though many have tried. Bombs and war kill people but the ride never dies.

Doesn’t it make you wonder what’s the game, what’s the plan?  Doesn’t it make you wonder who is God, what is man? We get caught up in, “You said this” and “I don’t believe in that.” and it sounds to me like the funniest conversation people have. When we are dead and buried they’ll put our bodies in the ground and the body remains a passenger on this planet spinning round.

Now maybe there’s a heaven where everybody meets, but is it spinning round like us in this same galaxy?  I don’t mean to get heavy, I’m just trailing back my thoughts: trying figure out what’s happening, so I know what’s going on.

I believe I’m a soulman and I’m trying to break free.  We all think lots thoughts and these are the thoughts of me. ©Excerpt from “The Almost True Tales, Thoughts & Observations of a Life Long Black Sheep Rebel Girl  

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Stay wild stay free,  

Black Sheep Rebel Girl 

My Batman Story

My Batman Story

I had a half-sized, midnight blue Schwinn bike when I was six years old.  The seat was two-toned blue and white with an “S” in the center.  It was a cool bike and I liked to ride it but that is not the reason it will be emblazoned in my mind with the words justice and righteousness forever.

You see one spring day I left my bike out in our yard and someone slashed the front tire. It was a defining moment for me because it was the first time I saw “meanness” in the world.  In fact, I thought it was the first time anything “bad” had ever happened to anyone anywhere and it confused me.  “Why would someone do something like that?”

Now coincidentally that same day, only an hour later I saw Batman on TV.  I didn’t know who he was but they said he fought crime and I thought he must have arrived because of my bike.  Suddenly it all made perfect sense to me: I had witnessed “meanness” enter our world and now Batman had come to life to combat it and make the world good again. The tremendous relief I felt when I saw him popped me out of my stunned state and I knew the world would be okay.  Thank you Batman for coming to my rescue when I needed you most, you calmed my worried heart and gave me hope. Godspeed. ©Excerpt from “The Almost True Tales, Thoughts & Observations of a Life Long Black Sheep Rebel Girl”

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 Stay wild stay free,

 Black Sheep Rebel Girl

I’m For Laughter

I’m For Laughter

“I’m for laughter, happily ever after, don’t matter who, don’t matter what: when and where do not matter, I’m for laughter.  I’m for laughter loud enough to make people turn their heads and think “I should be over there,” while others think, “what assholes!” I’m for laughter at the wrong time: at funerals, board meetings, during sex, flat-tires, hurricanes and shipwrecks.

I’m for laughter stopping us from falling off the last step into solemn oblivion.  I’m for laughter as the recognition of the joke that life can sometimes be. I’m for laughter from the heart, laughter that lifts one’s spirit so high everything looks funny and you can’t get “serious” about life anymore because you get the joke.

I’m for the giddy laughter coming from the small feet people who pitter-patter. I’m for laughter when the money’s in the red and losings all the chatter.  I’m for laughter for no reason at all or just because it feels good, a good hearty laugh like a good laugh should.  I’m for laughter with friends who make you crack up no matter what they say.

I’m for laughter is the best medicine and you got to take it everyday like a painkiller. Only it doesn’t just dull the pain, it makes the pain go away: so long pain you lose to laughter. Uncontrollable, cheek hurting, spit spewing, pee inducing, stomach pain bringing, thank you for making me laugh like a jackass, I don’t need nothing cause I got you laughter.  Laughter is what I’m after, I’m for laughter……”©Excerpt from “The Almost True Tales, Thoughts & Observations of a Life Long Black Sheep Rebel Girl”

Thank you for reading my blog.

Stay wild stay free,

Black Sheep Rebel Girl

Craigslist Rocket Ships & Soul

Craigslist Rocket Ships & Soul

“People said I was some kind of crazy thinking I could hang on to a dream I’d had since I was a kid. But I knew I couldn’t expect somebody who has never rode a comet across the sky to understand something as astral as a dream. They can’t see that far, that’s all, they just don’t have the vision.  But it’s not glasses they need, it’s soul.  

The kind of soul that keeps your heart-beating when everything you ever loved is lost. Soul that makes you see the devastating beauty in tragedy and the shallow tragedy in beauty. Soul that goes so deep you can feel water flowing through it way down in the center of the earth.  And soul, so incredibly alive, it can yank you right out of the desert of dead dreams and pump the breath back into lifeless hope.

I got soul, that’s how I made it all the way out to the edge of the universe, all universes. 

See, I had it in my mind for sometime that I wanted to find the edge, the end of everything. Some people call it the “Edge of the World.” Well, I wanted to find the edge all worlds, the whole game. Now once I get something in my mind, I don’t give up easy. So, after a very extensive search I acquired a space travel vehicle that I felt would take me to my destination. I purchased the craft from an old man in Billings, Montana right off of Craigslist.  

He had been working on building a space-travel machine since the 1970’s and finally created one that actually worked. It was constructed out of a Ski-Doo Jet Ski and he put all kinds of rockets-blasters, navigational devices and long distance travel instruments on it. Then he heat-proofed it, fire-proofed it, cold-proofed it etc. and stuck a lid over the whole thing.

It was actually quite simple to navigate and fairly comfortable for what it was. He also included a spacesuit which made me look like a giant tuna fish. The listing said no haggling, so I paid the full price with a money order as requested, and set off to find the edge of the universe.  Within a week I was up near the first star on the handle of the Big Dipper. After a few more weeks I was well out of the Milky Way all together…….”©Excerpt from “The Almost True Tales, Thoughts & Observations of a Life Long Black Sheep Rebel Girl”

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Stay wild stay free,

Black Sheep Rebel Girl

 

Stuff I Learned From Clouds

Stuff I Learned From Clouds

The sky was magnificent, snow-white cream puff clouds sat across the heavens. I was taking pictures trying to capture the beauty of the sun glowing through a gap in the stacks when a thought popped into my head. This thought hit me like an old memory jumping forward in time and suddenly I had the idea that the hole I could see in the clouds was an “Entrance” to some mystical land. It just felt like a gateway to a place where alchemy and abracadabra might still exist.

I stood there looking and pondering about what was beyond the “Entrance” for sometime: wondering what sort of strange and wonderful world might exist there. Then it came to me, it was us. The magical people, the creators of art, movies, skyscrapers, airplanes, chocolate, babies and symphonies. At that moment I knew I was not observing the entrance: I was looking at the exit.  I was already in the mystical land and I didn’t even know it……..”©Excerpt from “The Almost True Tales, Thoughts & Observations of a Life Long Black Sheep Rebel Girl”

Thank you so much for reading my blog.

Stay wild stay free,

Black Sheep Rebel Girl

 

NYC, Carnegie Deli & Me

NYC, Carnegie Deli & Me

 

Shortly after I graduated from college I moved to New York City.  I knew I was going to move to New York when I was fifteen years old, I was an actor and New York was where I had to be.  My first job was at the Carnegie Deli: I was hired as a cashier by its famous owner Leo Steiner, who was featured in Woody Allen’s film, “Broadway Danny Rose.”

My first day on the job was a Saturday.  I stood at the register from 8:30am to 5:00pm and at the end of my shift Leo counted the cash in my drawer to make sure the receipts matched the money.  After he finished counting he told me it was perfect. I had rung up over $22,000 in the eight hours and I was not a dime short.  

He was paying me $4.75 an hour, so when he told me my drawer was perfect I asked him for a twenty-five cent raise to make it an even $5.00. Leo told me he couldn’t afford it.

I never did get the raise but I did get the story, this story and many more. One day after leaving work, I found a young elephant swimming in the Lake in Central Park, but that’s a tale for another time. ©Excerpt from “The Almost True Tales, Thoughts & Observations of a Life Long Black Sheep Rebel Girl”

Thank you for reading my blog,

Stay wild stay free,

Black Sheep Rebel Girl